Tuesday, April 5, 2016

"Why Do You Care?"

I was putting Ryan to bed (he's 10) a couple nights ago and I was telling him about the people I saw at the gym that evening. I had seen our church sexton there, Danny, who's African American, and also a really old woman using the elliptical machine really slowly. It sort of made me giggle but I was also very inspired by her. Planet Fitness prides itself on being a "Judgment Free" zone so I really had no business snerking; after all who am I but a 40-something soccer mom on an elliptical machine. Pfft.

But I digress.

I began to tell Ryan about the variety of people at the gym: old and young, male and female, black and white, American, Latino, Indian, and Middle Eastern, when out of the blue Ryan said, "Why do you care? They're all allowed to be there, so why do you care who's there?"  He said it with a tone, too.  A tone that implied that I was making a "thing" out of the different-ness of people (which I was). And that I was being judgmental, and perhaps noticing everyone's differences wasn't necessary.

I get it. And I'm glad he asked that question, "Why do you care?" Because it made me stop and think. Why do I care? At first I was a little put-off by his question, since he sounded sort of snippy. But then I realized that he was coming from a place that believes that lots of different people in any given place is NORMAL, and I wasn't.  I was coming from a place that saw that as an ideal, not the norm.

So I explained to him that I care because it's important to me that there be a variety of different people in the places I go.  I explained that sometimes where we live people can isolate themselves with their own kind: race, culture, religion, and never meet anyone else different from themselves.  And I explained that I didn't think that was healthy for society.


I explained that I care about the diversity of my gym, our schools, our church, my grocery store, because I think we are a better society when we appreciate each other's differences: our rich cultural heritages and histories, our different religious traditions, our different ethnic foods, music and cultures. When we are not afraid of each other we can talk to each other. Then we can learn from each other and we begin to care about each other.

Do you see what the result will be?

Grace. Peace. Love.